Column: A Brutally Honest Post About Prostitution in Sweden

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve previously been an escort— a title that unfortunately fills me with melancholy and anxiety. And it’s not because of the profession itself, but because of how society has changed.

We live in a time where men are lonelier than ever. Social environments have imploded, the porn industry has moved intimacy onto screens, and many men feel lost when interacting with women. That’s a reality we can’t ignore – but it has consequences.

Some of these men don’t seek out escorts as temporary, mutually respectful encounters. Instead, they approach it as a space where they believe no boundaries exist. As if the payment not only buys time or service, but access to the body, emotions, and control.

That mindset isn’t just dangerous – it’s exhausting. Because behind many women’s decision to sell sex lies a history of sexual trauma, social wounds, and sometimes substance abuse. When men carry their loneliness as justification for boundlessness, women end up in a new kind of vulnerability – not always physical violence, but emotional exploitation, boundary-testing, and psychological dislocation.

And that’s where something breaks. In the meeting where men seek closeness but act through dominance, and women try to survive but are expected to heal. But! I’m not saying that all men who seek out this kind of company are horrible pigs incapable of respect, etiquette, or social codes. But sadly, it’s very common.

“Protect Women”

Excuse the language – but that’s pure fucking bullshit. There’s a lot of talk about how the sex purchase law is supposed to protect women. But in practice, it creates a climate where both buyers and sellers are harmed – just in different ways. Men risk prison, get publicly exposed, have their futures ruined, and fall silent in shame. Women, especially those who sell sex full-time, are affected in ways that are quieter – but far more systematic.

They are followed by police, have their money, phones, and computers confiscated without having committed a crime, lose custody of their children, and no longer dare to seek healthcare – despite violence, illness, or urgent need. They don’t dare turn to social services when the work no longer covers basic needs, because the response almost always sounds like: “You shouldn’t.” “You know better.” “You can do better.”

That’s not support. That’s moralistic dismissal. And it makes women invisible in the very systems that claim to protect them.

But what if we flipped the script? What if we acknowledged that sex work exists – not as an ideal, but as a reality? What if we structured support, removed shame, stopped moralizing and started listening? What if a woman could go to the clinic without fearing a police report? What if she could receive help from social services without being questioned as a mother? What if one of the world’s oldest professions was met with something as simple as respect?

Then we wouldn’t need to talk about protection. Because it would already exist.

What can we do instead?

Imagine a society where sex work isn’t hunted like some filthy sidetrack, but instead treated like any other profession – with rights, safety, and transparency. Where legislation doesn’t try to scare off an age-old practice, but instead forms a framework to protect the people involved.

1. Social security – instead of shame and vulnerability With legalization, sex workers could live openly, without fear of being hunted, shunned, or losing custody of their children. They would dare to:

Instead of hiding from society – they could participate in it.

2. Financial transparency – tax revenue instead of shadow economy Today, many sex workers are forced to walk the line of economic criminality, often unintentionally. Some don’t even dare declare their income due to stigma, risk of investigation, or fear of being accused of “pimping.”

With legalization:

The result? A regulated market that’s fairer to both practitioners and institutions.

3. Political consistency – instead of hypocrisy Sweden wears a hypocritical face: claiming to protect women, while legislative proposals like 2024/25:124 clearly show that it’s about control – not protection.

Legalization would:

It would also bring Sweden in line with EU reality – where several countries are already moving toward more realistic models.

4. Better opportunities for protection and autonomy When the work is legal, sex workers can:

And in turn, violence, insecurity, and isolation are reduced.

What are my experiences as a former escort?

I’ve done escort-meetups off and on between 2015 and 2024, almost ten years. In the beginning, it was an adrenaline-fueled, exciting hobby. I never met that many, but just enough to buy some food each month when things were tight. I never called myself an escort or a whore. I used the phrase companion. And I met so many wonderful people from all corners of society. Rich businessmen, harbor workers, newly divorced men looking for something different. People who voted right and people who voted left. Men who were extremely social and men who could barely speak from nerves.

I treated them all the same: with respect. And believe it or not, 99% of the time – I got that back.

But something changed after 2017–2018. Men became colder. Less respectful. More boundaryless. It was as if someone had flipped a switch and people no longer knew how to behave. Sure, there had always been the occasional asshole, but those were easy to block and move on from.

Now, it became message after message like: “Hey, be in my car in 30 mins, I’m gonna throatfuck you. 500 SEK?”

And it got worse. Random DMs saying just “hi” from new accounts every day, wasting time. Fake bookings. Hostile comments as soon as you set boundaries. Guys messaging just to say: “You fat fuck, who’d wanna fuck you anyway?”

That’s when something broke in me. My last escort meeting was in December 2024. That’s when I was raped.

And it wasn’t dramatic or violent. But the man – large, strong – climbed on top of me and put his dick inside me without a condom. Something we absolutely had not agreed upon.

And under Swedish law, that’s rape. He could go to prison for that. But I never reported it.

Because I knew what would come with it: Myself being dragged down. Others possibly exposed. My integrity is important to me. I want to keep doing what I do without having my everyday life torn apart and having my computers, phone confiscated and searched, facing social isolation, shame, and moral judgment.

So that man walks free. A few weeks after the rape, I got confirmation that I was healthy – no infections or diseases. No physical damage. Just the mental scars.

In other words – I’m the perfect example of why the current legislation doesn’t work. When morality guides lawmaking, the result is shame. And shame is not something you can legislate away. It breeds a silent people, where fear becomes the backbone of society.

That’s why I stood up and wanted to speak out about Prop 2024/25:124. Because I knew what an expanded sex purchase law leads to – not less prostitution, but more. Already now, I know several girls who used to earn money transparently and safely through online services, at a distance from men – and they loved it. But now, with the new law, that part of their income is minimal. Because everything is visible online and through banks if you’re not extremely careful.

What are they doing now? They’re out meeting men in person instead.

Black on white. I have firsthand knowledge that exactly what I feared would happen – has happened. Myself? I refuse to go down that rabbit hole again and become a part of an industry that has no protection for me, but only shame. Instead I focus on other things, and honestly, I'm happier for it. But, here we are.

Sidenote; It’s still FULLY legal to buy videos, photos, and send tips to creators who make pornography and erotic art. It just can’t be linked to any form of direct interaction with the person, if it leads to a request becoming a paid act. A complex system, but not hard to follow if you’re even remotely intelligent.

But the question is – what will politicians think of next to sneak into a “protection package” for children and the vulnerable? That… genuinely scares the shit out of me.

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